I think I’ve got a package downstairs.

I don’t know if I’ve got a package downstairs because the security guard won’t tell me (and because I accidentally typed @gmail.con instead of @gmail.com so I can’t track my package but that’s neither here nor there).

The security guard won’t tell me if I have a package downstairs.

Is there a package for 604? I ask.

From today?


I don’t know, I’m still in the middle of it.

Well, can you tell me while I’m standing here?

No, because I’m in the middle of it and I’d have to put all of the packages before yours. 

{blank look at this point? I’m not sure how I respond exactly.}

You can come back in 20 minutes and I’ll be done then and I’ll know.

{Now I know that I’ve got a blank look on my face – the one that my mom would call “that dumb look” – which is like a jaw-dropped look that says “huh? I’m not sure I can comprehend what you’re saying” as I look at the clock on the wall and wonder will I be free in 20 minutes? and is there another way I can respond here?}

And while I’m both super annoyed, and kind of flabberghasted, I’ve got to respect this man.

Because he can do something that I can’t am not great at.

Say no.

Without apology.

Set boundaries.


And without giving two craps about what I think about him.

Wow. How can I do that?

How can I take a page out of this guy’s book and set limits and procedures and stick with them regardless of what other people think?

How can I stand my ground like that?


I’m not sure at this point. I’m really not. But at least this gives me a model to work with. An example I can think of whenever someone asks me to do something. Even if I don’t act on it right now, I can start by thinking “how can I apply what he said, and how clearly and with authority he said it? what would that look like in this situation?” That would be a good start I think.

Talk about the opposite of a doormat. My goodness.


Who’s modeled something for you recently? What did you learn?


link love

by Joanna on March 7, 2015

Happy Weekend! Here are some links for your weekend reading – curled up on the couch with a cup of coffee or tea, I hope. Enjoy!

A colleague shared this article about the book/author of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. And when two other people recommended it in the next two days, I went out and bought it. Totally up my alley.

Had a hard time deciding between these two wallpapers.

The myth of the dream job

Exhaustion is not a status symbol

The perfect way to introduce yourself

Three posts from A Cup of Jo:

  1. definitely going to use this idea to help plan our weekly menu
  2. I love her beauty uniform posts but this one in particular stood out to me
  3. I really want to discuss this post

I really enjoyed this podcast episode – listened to most of it during jury duty this week

In case you missed it:
motherhood, someday (one of the most vulnerable things I’ve posted in a while)
what i learned from a headache




by Joanna on March 5, 2015

blow out

got my hair blown out for a special date with Mike recently and felt like a million bucks

dreaming: about updating our space a bit by creating a sitting area in our living room where we currently have a desk and getting a big round kitchen table

planning: for the next fiscal year at work. I love this time. Blank slate, lots of possibilities.

making: breakfast at home on weekends – and deciding what to make on Thursdays. I’ve made this quiche and these pancakes.

baking: I made the crust for the quiche from scratch using this recipe. And last week, I made a box of brownies – Ghiradelli is my new go-to.

watching: Nashville. This week’s episode had me tearing up through out. Oh my goodness. Is it just me or is this show so good this season?


linking up with anne (who’s link up I found through Jacquelyn)

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motherhood, someday

by Joanna on March 3, 2015

I’m going to throw myself into motherhood someday. I’m going to read all the books, cut all of the orange slices, kiss all the boo-boos. Someday.

But not for a little while.

It’s a big deal for me to say this. Feels like a huge admission. This is one of my biggest “shoulds.”

I always thought I’d have a baby around 27. We’ve been married for three years — shouldn’t we want to have a baby?

Until last week* I hadn’t admitted, hadn’t realized, that I don’t want a baby right now. Mike has said “a few years” to the baby question for a while now and so I just said “we’re not having a baby because Mike doesn’t want to have a baby.”

But the truth is it’s not what I want right now. And that’s ok.

It’s ok…that we said we’d have a baby by 30 and now we probably won’t.

It’s ok…that I’d like to be debt free before we start a family. (That may or may not happen.)

It’s ok…that I want to enjoy experiencing my best self for a while.

It’s ok…that I want to indulge in just the two of us for a while longer.

It’s ok. All of it is ok.


*I wrote this post in my journal last spring…but just got the guts now to publish it.


What I learned from a headache

by Joanna on February 26, 2015

A couple weeks ago, I was in a funk. For three days, I woke up tired and throughout the day had no motivation. “I don’t feel like doing anything” kept running through my head. And each afternoon, I got a headache. On my way to CVS to get some Advil, I thought “I just want to take a nap right now. I want to go home and go to bed.” And then I thought “I’m just going to empower myself to do that. I’m going to use some sick time and go home and rest. My body obviously needs that.”

I got home and climbed into bed for a nap. I thought about turning on the TV while I fell asleep but something told me not to. That I didn’t need the mental clutter and noise. That I just needed to be.

Within two minutes of my head hitting the pillow, I had a realization. There was something at work that was really frustrating me. It had been bothering me since earlier in the week but I didn’t know that consciously. It wasn’t until I started telling Mike about it that I realized how much this was affecting me — and my performance. The next day, I woke up like my usual self, energetic and ready to take on the day. And I had a conversation with my boss about what was bothering me and I felt so much better.

I share this story for two reasons:

1. You’ve got to listen to your body. You are the only one that can feel your body and hear your intuition. It’s up to you act on those messages. You can discern when it’s a “take-some-Advil-and-go-through-your day” kind of thing or  it’s a “stop, listen, or this will just continue” kind of thing. But only you can discern that. So you’ve got to listen and you’ve got to act. Which brings me to my next point…

2. Sometimes you’ve got to empower yourself and give yourself what you need.  Your boss isn’t going to say “I can tell your head hurts and that you’re in a funk” go home and take a nap. No. You need to decide that for yourself and give yourself permission to do what you need to do.

If I wouldn’t have taken that three hours off, I could’ve been stuck in that negative energy (and the corresponding physical symptoms) for a while — impacting both myself, my team, and my work.