be where you are

by Joanna on May 19, 2015

I’ve written before about being where you are. About the power of being in the moment that you’re in.

It hit me recently that this applies to life too.

We can get so caught up worrying about or looking forward to the next thing. The next phase. When will we get there? How will we get there? Why aren’t we there yet?

For me, this has shown up as when will I find my dream job? When will we get married? When will we have enough money to buy a house? Where should we buy said house? When will we have kids? And on and on and on.

But here’s the thing…life is good now. Without the future things, life is still good. And in all the seasons before now when I worried about the next thing, life was good. Filled with good people and good things and opportunities to learn and grow. Things that will prepare us for the next season and others that may not be available to us when we get there.

And in worrying about when we should have a baby and stressing about when we’ll be able to buy a house and where it should be when that time comes, we miss this season and all the good things in it.

They say “life is what happens when you’re busy planning.” So, be where you are. No matter the season, be where you are. Enjoy its goodness. Relish in the little things, and the big things, that are good right now. 


P.S. Later this week, I’ll share how we’re embracing this season.


A note on boundaries

by Joanna on April 28, 2015

I’ve never had strong boundaries. Never really knew what my boundaries were until someone stepped over them and I didn’t like it. (Those people/experiences are gifts because they pointed out one of my boundaries.) Through coaching I realized that I have a boundary issue. Issue might be a strong word but boundaries are something I could work on, a muscle I can build.
So when Caroline recommended this book about boundaries I ordered it immediately. There are so many great nuggets of wisdom in here but there’s one in particular I’ve been thinking about since.
A big part of boundaries is taking responsibility for what you’re responsible for and letting other people take responsibility for what they are responsible for. 
Woah. That blew my mind.
I often feel the weight of the world on my shoulders – feeling solely responsible for an entire project at work or like I’ve got to make things happen with family or friends – so this was a HUGE ah-ha moment for me. I’ve been trying to remind myself of this since and when I do, it lifts a little bit of weight off of me.
I hope it’s a good reminder for you too so I’ll say it again.
A big part of boundaries is taking responsibility for what you’re responsible for and letting other people take responsibility for what they are responsible for. 


I think I’ve got a package downstairs.

I don’t know if I’ve got a package downstairs because the security guard won’t tell me (and because I accidentally typed @gmail.con instead of so I can’t track my package but that’s neither here nor there).

The security guard won’t tell me if I have a package downstairs.

Is there a package for 604? I ask.

From today?


I don’t know, I’m still in the middle of it.

Well, can you tell me while I’m standing here?

No, because I’m in the middle of it and I’d have to put all of the packages before yours. 

{blank look at this point? I’m not sure how I respond exactly.}

You can come back in 20 minutes and I’ll be done then and I’ll know.

{Now I know that I’ve got a blank look on my face – the one that my mom would call “that dumb look” – which is like a jaw-dropped look that says “huh? I’m not sure I can comprehend what you’re saying” as I look at the clock on the wall and wonder will I be free in 20 minutes? and is there another way I can respond here?}

And while I’m both super annoyed, and kind of flabberghasted, I’ve got to respect this man.

Because he can do something that I can’t am not great at.

Say no.

Without apology.

Set boundaries.


And without giving two craps about what I think about him.

Wow. How can I do that?

How can I take a page out of this guy’s book and set limits and procedures and stick with them regardless of what other people think?

How can I stand my ground like that?


I’m not sure at this point. I’m really not. But at least this gives me a model to work with. An example I can think of whenever someone asks me to do something. Even if I don’t act on it right now, I can start by thinking “how can I apply what he said, and how clearly and with authority he said it? what would that look like in this situation?” That would be a good start I think.

Talk about the opposite of a doormat. My goodness.


Who’s modeled something for you recently? What did you learn?


link love

by Joanna on March 7, 2015

Happy Weekend! Here are some links for your weekend reading – curled up on the couch with a cup of coffee or tea, I hope. Enjoy!

A colleague shared this article about the book/author of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. And when two other people recommended it in the next two days, I went out and bought it. Totally up my alley.

Had a hard time deciding between these two wallpapers.

The myth of the dream job

Exhaustion is not a status symbol

The perfect way to introduce yourself

Three posts from A Cup of Jo:

  1. definitely going to use this idea to help plan our weekly menu
  2. I love her beauty uniform posts but this one in particular stood out to me
  3. I really want to discuss this post

I really enjoyed this podcast episode – listened to most of it during jury duty this week

In case you missed it:
motherhood, someday (one of the most vulnerable things I’ve posted in a while)
what i learned from a headache



motherhood, someday

by Joanna on March 3, 2015

I’m going to throw myself into motherhood someday. I’m going to read all the books, cut all of the orange slices, kiss all the boo-boos. Someday.

But not for a little while.

It’s a big deal for me to say this. Feels like a huge admission. This is one of my biggest “shoulds.”

I always thought I’d have a baby around 27. We’ve been married for three years — shouldn’t we want to have a baby?

Until last week* I hadn’t admitted, hadn’t realized, that I don’t want a baby right now. Mike has said “a few years” to the baby question for a while now and so I just said “we’re not having a baby because Mike doesn’t want to have a baby.”

But the truth is it’s not what I want right now. And that’s ok.

It’s ok…that we said we’d have a baby by 30 and now we probably won’t.

It’s ok…that I’d like to be debt free before we start a family. (That may or may not happen.)

It’s ok…that I want to enjoy experiencing my best self for a while.

It’s ok…that I want to indulge in just the two of us for a while longer.

It’s ok. All of it is ok.


*I wrote this post in my journal last spring…but just got the guts now to publish it.