Love Languages

by Joanna on September 12, 2011

a friend had mentioned the 5 love languages when telling a story about her mom’s disappointment when my friend didn’t send a birthday gift, only a card.  she explained that there are five different ways a person can give and receive love and that for her mom, gifts are important.  i was intrigued and put it on my list of things to look into.  then, i was reading peanut butter fingers and she had a post about the love languages!  julie linked to the love languages website and i was thrilled to find an online quiz to discover your love language. naturally, i took it immediately.  afterward, mike took it too. (thanks, mike!)  our results are below.

jo’s love languages                                                       mike’s love languages

words of affirmation: 8                                               words of affirmation: 9

quality time: 9                                                                quality time: 6

receiving gifts: 1                                                            receiving gifts: 2

acts of service: 2                                                            acts of service: 4

physical touch: 10                                                        physical touch: 9

i’m honestly not surprised by the results and think they’re pretty spot on.  i definitely show love through physical touch: a light touch on shoulder or back for support, hugs, resting my head on someone’s shoulder. i find myself wanting to be physically close to people.  and i receive love in the same way. of course i like gifts and when people do things for me (acts of service) but i feel closest to others when we spend quality time together.

i was a little surprised to see that physical touch came out at the top of mike’s list though i guess i shouldn’t be suprised. we are very affectionate with each other, we hug a LOT, hold hands, put our hands on each other’s backs, we just touch a lot.  but i don’t think of him expressing love to friends and family through physical touch.

given that we both give and receive love through physical touch, if we’re irritated with one another or have a fight, we can provide reassurance to one another, lessen tension, and reconnect by holding hands or giving a hug.

another take away for me is that i should express my confidence in mike and compliment him more.  i think good things about him all the time and share my admiration with others, but i should share those thoughts with him.  i’m pretty good at doing things for him–making his lunch, finding networking connections, handling chores when they stress him out–but he’d probably feel more loved if i told him that i was proud of him, told him he’s a good husband, complimented his knowledge of current events and sports, or let him know i admire his calm, cool manner.

what’s your love language?  take the quiz and share your results in the comments section.  do you think your love language is accurate?  how do you see your love languages playing out in your relationships both romantic and otherwise? what do you take away from the results?

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

1 Chrissy September 12, 2011 at 11:18 am

7 Words of Affirmation
9 Quality Time
4 Receiving Gifts
2 Acts of Service
8 Physical Touch

thanks for this! i started with the “wife” one because i’m in a relationship, but it was more living together than relationship, so i took the single one. i’m definitely going to have Justen take it!


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