quarter-life crisis

by Joanna on September 13, 2011

there have been a few times since college that i felt like i was having a quarter-life crisis.  the first was the end of summer 2009 when i wondered where am i going, what am i doing? i’d been in a cubicle for six months and would describe my day as beige.  i think my engagement took my mind off it for a little over a year.

but after the wedding and honeymoon those feelings of where am i going, what am i doing slowly started to creep up again. the summer passed in a blur and we’ve been busy every weekend since mid-july and most weekends before that.  now fall is arriving soon and our weekends are still busy and as i look into my future i feel like i’m on a treadmill of 9-5, 9-5, 9-5 in a beige office that either has too bright florescent lights or dim lamp lighting, my eye sight deteriorating from staring at a computer all day.

if there’s one thing i learned in the last year, through the process of planning my wedding, it’s that family and friends are the most important. love and family and friends, and sharing happy times, helping through the bad times, parties, get-togethers, and vacations in between, that’s what life is all about.

and there’s never enough time with friends and family.  so we fill our weekends up with visitors and trips home and then feel like there’s never enough time to relax, to take care of things on the to-do list before its back to the monotony of 9-5, 9-5, 9-5.

my life doesn’t align with this key realization that family, friends, love, and enjoying it all are what matters. but still i’m torn, feel obligated to pursue a higher degree though it may or may not be in line with the life i’d like to be living.  but then again maybe done the line it will provide me with the life i want to be living.

so what now? how do i tell myself that i’m where i’m supposed to be? that there are opportunities ahead of me that i can’t see just yet? i’m always telling others to enjoy the ride.  that i’m still in the exploratory phase and that’s a great place to be.  it’s good that i have so many things that i’m interested in currently and who knows how they’ll all come together in a few years or even a few months.

how do i move from feeling smothered and in limbo to enjoying everything that i have going for me? a fun, warm, loving husband, a city that i adore, a good-paying job with lots of opportunities to learn, and friends and family that i so look forward to seeing.

have you felt a quarter-life crisis?  what was the subject of yours?  how did you/are you dealing with it?

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