reflections on daring greatly: my vulnerability armor

by Joanna on August 22, 2013

In her book, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, Brene Brown describes the different ways we arm ourselves against vulnerability.

Here’s one:

“The Shield: Numbing.

If you’re wondering if this section is about addiction and you’re thinking This isn’t about me, please read on. This is about all of us. First, one of the most universal numbing strategies is what I call crazy-busy.”

Oh my God, that’s me.

She continues:

I often say that when they start having twelve-step meetings for busy-aholics, they’ll need to rent out football stadiums. We are a culture of people who’ve bought into the idea that if we stay busy enough, the truth of our lives won’t catch up with us.”

This was a big ah-ha moment for me and made me take a step back and think about things. I’ve spent most of my life over-scheduled, always go-go-go-go-go. When I read this I was like “ooohhhhh, that makes sense.”

And here’s the result:

I believe we all numb our feelings. We may not do it compulsively or chronically, which is addiction, but that doesn’t mean we don’t numb our sense of vulnerability. And numbing vulnerability is especially debilitating because it doesn’t just deaden the pain of our difficult experiences; numbing vulnerability also dulls our experiences of love, joy, belonging, creativity, and empathy.”

Woah. Don’t want to do that anymore.

So yeah, this was a powerful section of the book for me. For someone that believes that she does feel her feelings and that they don’t do things to numb emotions, this was a big wake up call.

Does this resonate with you? I’d love to hear from some others like me!

Have you read Daring Greatly? What are you taking away? What vulnerability armor are you carrying?

 

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