caught between now and then

by Joanna on November 23, 2013

We were driving back from the grocery store and I was daydreaming about when we have a house someday and have family and friends over for meals all the time. Our home is cozy and welcoming and we always have people around, always feel loved.

We drove by the Cathedral and I noticed a man taking a picture. I looked and saw the Cathedral lit by a setting sun. It was sad and beautiful. In that moment I got nostalgic for the life we have now.

I think the emotions of this moment were enhanced by this song that happened to be playing on the radio, Trace Adkins’ You’re Gonna Miss This:

Before she knows it she’s a brand new bride
In her one bedroom apartment and her daddy stops by
He tells her it’s a nice place, she says, It’ll do for now
Starts talkin’ about babies and buyin’ a house
Daddy shakes his head and says, Baby, just slow down

Cuz’ you’re gonna miss this
You’re gonna want this back
You’re gonna wish these days
Hadn’t gone by so fast

These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you’re gonna miss this

I know I’ll miss this place and this time when we move away. Miss the hustle and bustle of the city. The beauty of the National Mall and my favorite drive down Rock Creek Parkway along the water. I’ll miss the lazy weekend mornings at home, breakfast at the coffee table and the huge windows that greet me when I walk in the door. I’ll miss the days of just the two of us. I imagine I’ll look back on this as a time when life was simple and easy, when our cares were minimal.

But I still yearn for a future time when I don’t feel as isolated. When our weekends are filled with family and friends around our table and our house is filled with the warmth that comes with a home-cooked meal.

And so I feel sad. Sad because in yearning for that, I’m wishing this time away.

But I guess the good news is that now is good and then will also be good.

 

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Hannah November 24, 2013 at 1:37 pm

Oh my, I can totally relate. My husband and I relocated from Nevada to NoVA and it is definitely isolating. We know that we never stay put for longer than a year so trying to set roots of any kind is pointless but I know that someday I will look back on this time fondly. We’ll look back on the busy, hectic, crazy corporate life missing the places we spent our time and wondering where all the time went.

Past, present, and future will all have their good and bad sides. Just wanted to say that you aren’t alone!

xoxohannah

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2 Joanna November 24, 2013 at 1:46 pm

Thanks, Hannah! I appreciate it!

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3 Emily @ Perfection Isn't Happy November 25, 2013 at 9:36 am

That song makes me sad. In fact, I remember listening to it after my wedding and crying (I’m not even sure how I stumbled upon it, because I don’t usually listen to country). It’s very true that we need to appreciate where we are in life right now. I have a house, and I live next door to my parents, and I still feel this way. It feels like such an in-between stage — but maybe they all feel that way?

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4 Meg January 3, 2014 at 9:34 am

Oh, this majorly struck a chord with me! We are literally looking into buying our first home right now — like, we’re meeting with a lender this afternoon — and I already feel an overwhelming nostalgia for our cozy little apartment where we watched fat snowflakes fall last night, wrapped in a quilt . . . just the two of us. It’s exciting to think about the future, but so important to also enjoy the present. xo

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5 Joanna January 4, 2014 at 5:29 pm

I have so much apartment nostalgia, it’s crazy. I cried when we moved out of both of our previous apartments. Hope the house-buying process goes smoothly for you!

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